Photographer: Benita Marcussen

I.T


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I.T... Within me- and out of me.
the constant flow between what i think i know and what actually happens

"I.T" was born out of simple curiosity. I had been wanting for a very longtime to work on a solo for myself and to find out what it felt like to be alone in a studio improvising without the safety net of a group. The opportunity finally presented itself under the form of a performance series in NYC in January 2009.
I spent hours in the studio feeling self aware. Trying desperately to crystallize ideas, scores and mostly the basic reason why i wanted to do that and what was there that i couldn't see. 

I felt i needed to start from "IT", from that intrinsic sensation of us being in a constant state of change. All my theories about Improvisation were suddenly fading away being replace by the next one, then the next.

I kept moving forward using the tools that i had collected and crafted through out the years - but it still was not "IT". It was that groundless feeling as if the floor had been robbed from under me that was appealing to me.

I finally was able to structure spaces, ideas and scores,  i brought elements with me in order to contain, channel and shape the sensations and give them form and as well not to be alone honestly. So here came Tofu (little Japanese robot), a microphone, a white board, a chair. But it came a time where i was the object and subject of my own investigation.

what fascinates me in the process of investigating and "building" my Improvisation performance is how much can be here with what's there at that precise moment. Can I catch  it?
Sensing the desires related to the work. Inertia, judging, resisting, yielding. Embracing the struggle. i am filtering, motion continues while decision is being made or discussed. My mind falls into my body, discovery occurs through movements to once again disintegrate.

I was conflicted with the idea of " set structure", can I choreograph some of it? and improvise some of it? am i still improvising if some of it is already set? Having a long history as a dancer with set work, at least 20 years, I so decided not to set anything concretely even if i could see that some situations would reoccur,and patterning was taking place.
Being on the edge, not knowing really if i would fall or be safe, or if actually i would allow myself to simply fall and see what it felt like.  

Performing "I.T" was nerves racking. It felt like the most "unsafe" performance i had ever done so far but the truest to what i believe performance means to me right now.    

"I.T" was performed in NYC in January 2009 at CRS.
"I.T" is a work in progress in constant flux, depending on where and when it will be performed. The elements on stage might change. I may or may not know what is going be there. 


* One of the 2 nights of "IT"   

Tofu